Hopes ♥

well this is a old video that i record form last week ago,i very like this music....every time i play this music,it will make me feel calm but...also make me feel depress and sad,almost make me drop tears...haiz~

btw it take me 1 month or few week to learn this music...kinda feel like to play piano cause every time i play,it will play out my feelings :)






Hopes ♥


hopes that we still got chance :')

how should i not worry about you??

haiz....you say you can take care yourself and don't wan me worry you but all you did is make me very worry about you.....every time you out,i will worry that you might meet some kind of trouble but what can i do??i can't do anythings just worry....like today you with friends went pub and the guy keep near feel like wan"chiu  ni shui''.....but lucky you have male friends to help if not.....i don't know what will happen to you...do you know that kind of place you guys are not allow?!i know you just go inside and see,but you might be don't know what happen if you went inside....well you might be raped or somethings...that kind of place is dangerous!!is not a playground and don't random to go inside!!!i know what you thinking,you think that i worry you too much already and ya~i don't have the"zhi ke"to say you but.....you don't even know how many bad things come from pub plus you are a girl....you should know most dangerous is you girls,this world have may cruel things will happen to you girls



so...tell me how come i should not worry about you?? =((                          







                                                                                         don't know why all day so bad mood and depress
                                                                                          i kinda so miss you,i feel heart pain really pain ='(

is there something should not know and should not see??

today evening,when i was going to read your blog and suddenly saw you have private your it.....i was curios about it,i was thinking is there something that you write i should not know or you just scare that your write something will hurt me??well i don't know though,but never mind i think i get it your reason already....maybe there is many secret and something hide from me....but i really wan to know your feeling...haiz


[S]ion [I]s [O]nly [N]ameless
 i have found out my name meaning
when my grandmother haven't pass away
she name me this name,at the first time i don't like it
but now....i think this name suitable me...
grandma....did you name me that name just because i'm really useless,brainless,hopeless and worthless??
well i'm really like this name now and know why you name "SION"

SION IS A HOPELESS PERSON!!!!

i so damn fucking hate him!!!

hey!!!would you stop say those sweet words and stop to chase her!!!ARRGGGG!!!!you wait?!wait?!!wait how long?!!you wait makai lan?!!stop wasting time!!!you don't even know her attitude!!!how come you can chase her?!!even you know but i sure you will regrets together with her!!!i guarantee you will regrets it!!i already"xi guan"the way she treats me.....ya,she is cold that why i feel no confidence at the first time but i din't give up to love her!!!i always love the way how she was and i don't care how she treat me....i know she no longer belong to me,but let me ask you one thing...do really can stand her attitude?!!i guess not~well i still hoping that i can back together with her,so i was hoping and i will wait her until she have found a nice guy to love him....but~!!!!i more hope you will stop chasing her and stop find her again!!!!you are not the type for her!!!you just make it more worst only!!!i GUARANTEE one days,she will belong to me.....so......you plz fuck off bullshit!!!you just waste your mom rice and money to raise you up!!what a foolish guy!!!!


.......
last night,i know you can't stop find him
well i nothing to say anymore or control you
that is your freedom,your choice,not mine
i have no right to order you but.....
if the day really has come and you feel touch about what he say then
........
i just can regards you guys love each other happy and forever
you say impossible??
i still remember the time when my friend say about us will love each other
and you were say the same things "that is impossible....!"
but you should know nothing is impossible


haiz~!i still keep hoping it no matter what :')
[ILYNMWWH]

sorry i make you drop tears again/a unwell night

sorry i make you drop tears again :'(

i sorry that i make drop tears again,when i read your blog...i suddenly feel sad and non stop crying....i really so stupid that hurt you!!i so hate myself!!!am i a boy or rubbish huh??!!how can i make a girl cry?!!hate it!!after finish sms with you,i do know you will not blame yourself or not??but i think i should trust you,i hope tomorrow every things will be fine...i love you :')

a unwell night

haiz....at this night,i feel so depress,sad and not well....i can't even sleep,all i was do is thinking of you....do you know what i thinking??i thinking how long you will still love me??i think is not forever cause i know next year or some days you will forget me,i know you love me will not too long....i really so scare you will forget me although we din't together already but i still feel sad,i even don't know how to face that situation.....haiz~well still happy that you won't feel lonely already, although i really hate that guy keep find you but you won't feel lonely now...this is the good news for me,but you don't even know how lonely i am now....well you don't know....there is a girl keep find me but.....i don't have the mood find her back or reply her msg....i always holding phone the wish that you will text me....but never mind i should "xi guan" this feeling....i don't know what i should do at this night....sleep??but i don't have the to sleep....i just keep worry that you will forget me,my heart feel so pain now....haiz~i have hoping it so long but when my wish will come true or it never come true??haiz~but no matter how i still hoping it until you forget me :)

JEALOUS & HATRED!!!!

i  jealous and hatred now!!!shit!!!i hope that guy don't find you anymore or don't mind him!!ARRRGGGHHHH!!!i feel so angry now FUCK!!!!i keep hitting the wall but but it just make my hand bleeding =______=!!!!!ARRGHHH~!!!i can't stop it!!!fine!!!!i just act that he din't find you!!!but how act?!!!PUKIMAK!!!!@#$!$#@!@#$!@#$!$#@!$%#$%#$%#%^&^%&*^&*(%$%@#@@#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





DAMN IT!!!I KEEP HITTING THE WALL TO MAKE MYSELF CLAM
BUT.........MY HAND IS BLEEDING =====_________________________________________________=======

i disappoint you

can i stop blaming myself??well i can't answer it,but do you know why i blame myself??well you don't know,i not blame myself because of last time....ya,that not my fault and you either...i blame myself i not suitable for you,i blame myself i disappoint you....i know why before you don't believe my single words,cause think is a lie right??well i can't that you don't trust me cause you might think all the i still don't trust you......last night your sister(janice ng) post something on her wall,when i saw it....i just recognize that she was saying me,when i saw it....i feel myself worse and i know that is my fault all the time......because of this promise you think is a lie,ya...i know..."promises is worse than a lie cause you just don't believe it" this words already write out your meanings....."hope for something you can't get" when i saw this words,i feel myself is hopeless.....i was hoping that we can back together but i know is impossible for you to come back to me......i think she wan me to forget you,cause it just hurt me.....well i can say she is wrong,cause i know some days what i hoping for and i will get it....i won't give up hope,i don't care anythings i rather feel hurt but i don't wan forget!!!!not matter what happen i still love you,this is never change




[ILYFNMWWH] :')

did you listen me even once??

last time when we chat,you suddenly say you wan to die and that time is really my fault....stop blame yourself ok??is me scold you,you din't do anything wrong......please listen to me ok??i know you have tell me many time that you have reason to die,but let me tell you something...that is not a reason,your life,your parent,your sick and blame yourself that you din't treaser me....are this thing call reason huh??!!do you think you life suck?!you think you life worse then other people?!but do you think about me how i feel??every time you say die,i feel hurt you know??whatever i say or how i care you but you still do the same thing and don't listen me,well find....you can think my words is rubbish and think whatever you wan,what i wan from you is live happly and don't think about blaming.....i really hope you will listen although i not your boyfriend,if you still loving me then please stop blaming yourself anymore but if you din't love me.....well then i speechless now......



and 1 more thing S.I.C.D.I
this is not the meaning of "sure i can do it"
and sorry last night i lie you but you no need to curios about this words
cause this words is blaming myself only










why love each other can't together??
is there nothing that we can do it??
my hearts really feel so pain now

i don't think is the reason

hey,if there something you wan to ask me??plz just ask it,i wont refuse anything your question...it is about our relationship or you wan me forget you or stop loving you??i can answer you that i refuse to forget you and love you...why??you should know the answer....well ya,i still hoping now that we can back together but i won't ask you again and won't ask you how you feel about me,cause i know if i keep asking you i will just annoy you and scare can't be friend again....i don't think that your reason to reject back together again,i know there is something you still hiding....i don't wan you misunderstand that i say you find"alasan"to reject back together,that not what i mean....i was curios,why you still loving me but can't back together again??i know one reason only,the first reason is about your parent don't agree you couple but the second reason is not a reason,i hope you know what i means.....but plz remember if anythings you ask or wan me to do...i will accept anythings except to forget you and stop loving you......i sorry i can't do that




say what you need to say
plz don't hide it

i forget you?!!

how long we din't sms each other already??i think almost a month...i think~at this few day...or should i say every days huh?!!do you think i forget you already?!!don joke around,do you think love a person so deeply and forget that person so easy??!!don't stupid ok??!!you think i'm that kind of person forget people so easy??!!i don't think so!!ya...i know 5 month relationship not long for you but for me is very long,even almost a half years already...this 5 month feeling i still remember it until now,no need to mention it...i still feel hurt without you...i know you might think that i chat with other girl and forget you already,let me ask you 1 thing....forget a person that you most love is that easy??!!maybe you will,but i not so sure i don't even know how you feel about me now....as for me forget a person is impossible,i know you will say nothing is impossible...well you don't know how i feel about you too....don think that i always chat with other girl and forget about you,NO!!you don't even know i talk a lot about you to this girl....i tell her every story since we couple,every days i keep repeat to ask the same things...i ask do we really don't have chance anymore??when the girl tell me that i should forget about you,at that moment when i hear this....i feel so angry....do you know why?!!i can tell you right now,cause i'm not like as other guys won't satisfied just because break these things and go find a other girl to forget you!!


do you still love me??
if yes,why don't back together again??
plz don't tell me same answer anymore
cause that not a answer
you think back together will more hurt right??
i can tell you that is wrong,what make me will feel suffer??
just because you treat me cold??
well i get use to it already...
still what will make me more hurt if we back together??
or that is your alasan(malay)??
cause you already forget me??

just trust each other love

last nigh i with my brother yung yung(not my real brother) go kuala meggatar there yamcha,but there is something bad happen...is about my brother'sister,his sister was argue with his boyfriend and in front of us....suddenly her boyfriend say he wan break with her,the reason is because he can't stand her anger anymore....though they couple 1 year and 7 month....well,1 year and 7 month!!!is not a day only....is really a long relationship but her boyfriend can't stand anymore,my brother'sister try wan to back together but her boyfriend reject her....his sister cry already 8 hours and while in the 8 hours we try to an wei her but we failed...but at the end her boyfriend give her last chance again and he wan she promise that don't do the same mistake again....well what you know guys,love always have a good ending if you just trust each other :)



but is really true that love have good ending??
well for me is,love sometime will have a bad ending too


i should stop hoping again
i already know that we won't be together again
even though how much i love you and trust you so much
but as for you,you already giving up me and don't trust me anymore
i don't know what i should say
and i also don't know that i can give up or not
why??why i can't get love forever huh??

i think i know what reason already
because that i ugly
because that i useless
because that i feel so easy to hurt
because that i so annoying
because that i hopeless
or it because that i really don't have the chance to get a forever love

i hurt that i without you

well you no need say yourself is idiot,even idiot will know what is hurt....you don't know hurt that because i don't wan let you get hurt,i hurt is because that i without you but not you say or do anythings....when we together i din't feel any hurt or sad except happy and funny,how come will feel hurt??you should know that love a person even feel hurt,sad,happy and depress also will love each other....xin fu is not me or you can give,is each other give other same feeling and fu chu...yea,i don't know how you feel but i just know our feeling is the same....forget a person not easy even time is hard to cure a broken heart....





i know you feel pain now,same here
but did you know where did the pain come form??
ya,is me...is me did it,i sorry that i wan keep hoping
everything cost you is me,i sorry make you suffer in pain
i really useless!!but even i say sorry also useless
cause i can't cure your pain.....i apologize :'(

sorry i annoy you but don't worry,i wont annoy you again

i sorry this few days i annoy you,i just wan try to an wei you but i don't know that i annoy you more....actually i also feel myself really annoying,i think you won't need me anymore...ya,i really helpless i know i can't even help although you tell me what happen...i know you won't need my caring anymore,cause i just make you more unwell...maybe you wan forget me and become stranger then i apologize to you,next time i won't find you anymore then let become stranger lah....i really sorry that i annoy you


you say that you don't have any person will love you??
am i not a person??are you really forget that i still love you??
do you know i was to hoping that we can back together again??
but i think that i make it more worst
i really annoying,i really a idiot and useless too
stranger....ya,i think this is a good idea for you
well then,let us don't contact each other anymore




i'm sad now!!you don't know what is feeling about hurt!!!
i really so annoying!!!!!!i so damn hate myself!!!

don't think to die!!

i really don't like you say die this words,is really hurting me....i know you won't do anythings but before you promise that you wont think die these things....i don care promise always will be promise!!plz don't even think about it....i still loving you,i really don't  wan you die just because your parent and me...tell me what make you suffer in pain??plz tell me only,if you trying to die then i'm the 1 will go die 1st!!!ya...i common suicide!!!i don't care anythings,just don't wan you think to die....i really scare 1 day might be somethings will happen about you.....i really scare...i will beg god now!!!god i beg you,plz don't let her die easily and don't let her think about die....if really wan her die then...i will sacrifice myself,i sacrifice myself to end her pain....

are you really wan forget me??

i really love you,there is no zhi ke that i don't love you

and there no zhi ke these thing at love

won't you try to think get back together??

don't say that you will hurt me 

do you think i' not hurting now??

won't you think about it??

i hoping now that we can get back to love each other :'(

blog viewer

today i have go view many ppl blog,all of them write very sweet and very touch...their couple story really touching,they let me know they love each other very deeply and there is nothing can stop them...even their family....ya,i know what you thinking....you think that i blaming you....well i can tell you the true but you don't even believe me,i just wan tell you love a person really strong is unstoppable....let skip this,it has been so long that i din't view your blog already...since when??since we break i guess,when i view you newest updated...i know last night at my facebook profile comment is me say something wrong to you,and i apologize to you.....i din't mean that way,but you don't know what is jealous and hurt this feeling,you din't feel this kind of feeling before....why??cause there is a guy love you so much and try to protect you and don't let you get hurt....you know that you had hurt me but....you din't even know when or how you hurt me but this not important already,you say we might be stranger 1 day....



you know that i been hurt
so never mind,this is only a feeling
just forget it,hope you happy as always :)



damn i sick already =___=

he better then me,you should choose him

i saw you guys chatting happy and very funny,ya...i feel jealous,but what i can do??continue feel this feeling and ya,is hurt....so what??still need continue feel this feeling also....there is nothing i can do,just watch you guys chat....that guy remind me,remind me that i always jokes you....well no need remind this anymore cause it doesn't matter anymore except just for sad memories....1 day,you guys will fall in each other just like how we was begin....don't worry,i support you guys always will be xin fu and don't worry me,you have he beside you....i not in your mind anymore,i'm just your memories...you let me know something,that is"have 1st chance and 2nd chance but there is not 3rd chance anymore"....i have try to love you many time but...i failed to love you,maybe he is better then me.....no.....he is way perfect then me,i sure that time your parent will agree you guys couple.....



i love you but i can't get your heart
i not the guy in your mind
and not a guy suite to love you
there is a guy waiting you
bless you guys feel happy as always :)

PMR Day 3

well~today exam scien and sejarah....today,scien paper 1 was very easy but scien paper 2 was very hard =__=....i don't know how to write the answer but at least din't space a lot of question....i sure my scien will get C!!sejarah....well this no need to say anymore,i sure play counter strike with friends :P....there is no reason to pass the subject,cause our past things can't remember why still wan remember other people past things??=D


last night really thank you accompany me
i have a great chat last night
i think i need thank to you for cheer me up
tell you true,you always make me lucky as always
today exam is lucky only if not,i sure i pass up blank paper
you are my lucky star :)

feeling alone

do you know that i hate you so much?!!i know useless but no need say it out!!!I know it already but i try my best to study already and i also need time relax!!!i'm not a robot ok?!!don't force me plz....i can't take it anymore...i really feel depress



every time i sad,i wish you can pei ban me
but already not same as before anymore
i really feel so hurt,i really need you now
i feel so alone now,i can't stand it anymore
i miss you,i miss the past time...

PMR Day 2

well today english was so easy,i think i will get an A!!can't wait the result :D





你说爱上你会很痛苦
我说我不怕辛苦
你说爱上你是个错误
我说我自愿走入迷途

你装做不在乎
我知道其实你有说不出的酸楚
我愿意抱着你
不让你哭
爱你的旅途有艰辛万苦
我绝对不认输
我愿意保护你
不让你受苦
爱你的旅途有艰难险阻
我的目的就是你要幸福

PMR Day 1

today exam BM!!!OMG!!!so sibeh hard ah!!!haiz....i already try my best to write my karangan....i hope i can pass it >~<....well,tomorrow exam BI,is easy for me....like a water XD haha....but still need study,i determine to get A!!!

i finally know your reason,i happy that you still loving me....i really hope your parent agree us continue our relationship but i think they won't....last night i have think a great idea that won't let your parent know,if you delete my msg after you read,like that they won't find out and i rather couple with you but i won't ask you out anymore,like that they won't find out too but.....last night you tell me that you give up me already,when i saw this i feel really sad but i more sad that you at 5 month still don't believe me that i trust you so much....you still don't know my feeling but never mind i won't blame you,cause i still love you and always believe you although you don't trust me anymore :)

                               HURT!!!




please stop it,i don't like this feeling...it hurt :'(

jealous :(

every time i online facebook the 1st profile that i will view is you and every time i will have the same feeling...that is jealous,every time i saw have many guys comment on your post and very happy...it make me so jealous,but what i can do??just saw you comment only,i really hate this feeling!!every time i saw i will get hurt only!!why?!!why huh?!!you tell me that if we break we won't feel hurt again,but i don't think so...every second every minute and every day i really so miss you,i really wan saw your face again...but i can't!!but what i can do is just saw your pictures,i really feel so sad...i always keep thinking of you non stop!!i always feel so hurt,i don't like this feeling!!!this pain is killing me!!i hate it!!i can't stop tears after view your profile,i think should not online facebook again....because that make me feel unwell,jealous and sad...you don't know how hurt am i now :'(

you just feel interested to me is not real love me

PMR is really near by now and i just have 5 days time only but at this few week i din't study...even thought PMR is near by but i just feel too steady now...at this few days i have trying figure it out what reason that you will break with me,i know there must be have a other reason....i won't believe that you will suddenly feel yourself don't have confidence and so easy wan to forget me....my friend tell me that they know what reason you will break with me,they tell me that you have someone that you love already but not me...that why you will tell me to trying forget our 5 months memories...when they tell me this but i don't believe it,they keep telling me this is the true and i keep stop listening them....cause i know you wont treat me like that and i believe you that you have truly love me but....you might be just feel interested to me only but not a serious love me,maybe that why you feel don't have confidence...maybe you just feel interested on me and suddenly just feel tired on me....is this the your other reason or you have other that you love,truly love a person are wont feel like that even feel so hurt and xin ku but still will love each other...but this is just what i think only,i still feel curios about it...i really so wan to know what your other reason or i just think too much??well you the only 1 who know the reason....




i think i just a toy for you
i think you just feel interested on me
but...are you really din't love me before??
am i do something that make you feel hurt??
i still curios about it and feel unwell
cause i still loving you