hey~!!i saw you working

well it has been so long that i din't meet you....i kinda miss you do you know??well of cause you don't know....today we already have decide to hang out with each other and also have chance to see you...but after at 1b and saw you work at parkson down stair,that time i kinda shy to face you but still got say "HI" to you...wao~!!!i'm so brave xD

at this few weeks,kinda less news of you
don't know where you been after finish work
i know you always hang out with friend at night
but plz becareful is kinda dangerous
what i have told you and you still won't listen me
but never mind.....i just hope you will be fine only :)

we have been less contact each other already

it has been so long that we din't find each other,maybe because i was always asking about that guy??i sorry if like that,i really wan to chat with you or text you but it seen that i start make you more unwell...isn't??:( haiz....i never put it down the feelings....i just.....don't wan.....i wan be back together just like before but....it this will become true??i think you won't.....i know why you keep reject to back again...it because even we were back just like before but we won't happy as before right??ya...i think you mean yes,i don't what you think that but....it really that we be back together then we won't happy anymore??what reason??because you think that you have hurt me.....but what i wan to say is,i don't think if we back together and it won't happy as before...i don't think so but maybe that is what you guess......then it that mean you don't have considence to love me anymore??


i really wan go back the time when we together
it really happy when together but now.....it not same anymore
i feel empty without you....i feel hurt
i really miss you and i still love you.....always~
i really...........really..........really love you :'(

i'm FUCKING fire up now!!!

though?!you think i though?!i can say i'm 100 % comfirm that is him!!!well~!!he din't answer any message but his information already explain it.....FUCK NOW!!!but......i can't say he is wrong although he nick his name(wo.ai.tiffany),cause i the one who is wrong....i don't have any chance to say him,i with you just a sister and brother.....just now at inbox say those things i should apologize to you,every people say me is stupid that i can't put it down but i don't care what they say to me.....as long i still love you....i already hopeless now,my dream never come true,never happy as before....just left a memories....whenever i think it,i will suddenly drop tears.....you never know how deep i love you now





i sorry tiffany yee cheng chee
is myself useless
is myself overhead
is myself not suitable to you
i just don't wan put it down
i just know make you shameless only
i'm sorry that i can't forget you....i just don't wan :'(
i'm sorry

tomorrow is your 1st day go to work

tomorrow is your 1st day go to work!!!
haiz~!!!kinda worry you :(
hope you at there will be fine,please take care yourself
i can't care you anymore....i don't have any chances to take care you
you are not kid already,you can live without my care


i don't have chance to hope anymore,i'm hopeless now.....
you never be my side again,you are belong to someone ealse

feel heart breaking!!!:'(

girls need take 15min or half of hour to complete their make up but how low boy need to complete their hair??:D

well all girls like beauty right??that why you girl like to make up and it take so long!!!actually not only you girls make up will take so long....well~me too xD..but i'm more longer then you girls.....how say??well~you girls need add eyes brown or what la(don't know what name =.=),add contact lens and choose clothes to wear.....if not suitable then choose other clothes again.....well it took almost half of hour or 45min.......but for me.......i not same as you girl add eyes brown or what la,add contact lens or choose clothes......i don't wear those stupid things,i just wear very simple.....but i make my hair longer then your girls xD....wan't to know how long??well~i just make my hair and it took me 2hours to complete it!!!hahahahax!!!don't believe right??but is true

this is all my wax!!well actually not all....today i have bought a new 1 gatsby and is green color!!xD and my mom have bring back 1 ossie wax and 1 spray cause she know that i like to make my hair so she bring it to home xD

 this is my hair clippers and my comp!!!the blue clipper is make my hair easly stand...erm....how you guys call that??oh~!!!is jagung hair!!!hahah xD....next 1 is the pink clippers,it use for make hair straight.....well my hair always kerinting!!!i hate it!!!and that why i use this whenever i go school nor hang out
                          

before hang out with friend nor go to school,i will go bath 1st and start make my hair....meanwhile making my hair...i also have listen song mp3,cause i don't wan bored myself  =.=....and also i have view someone profile...what for??well is nothing...i just feel like it.....after 2hours and my hair complete!!!well i don't know why today i feel like to SS mood xD!!!then let view my SS picture xP!!!hahaha

                                         at my dad car SS!!!hahahax xD

                                        same style~Sion is acting cool xD

                                   OMG!!!this shirt is not suiet me!!!next time i gonna
                                   use this shirt at home!!!have been SPOILE~!!

                                          hahahahahahx~!!!!xiao sion is acting cute!!!
                                          oh shit!!!is ugly!!!but nevermind~no1 will view it....
                                           only me view myself xD

                                                   my right side view

                                                 my left side view
                                                what happen to my mouth??xD

                                               why i look like not happy??
                                               actually this is my true face :)

                                                in peace mood
                                            lol~why my hair like durian??=S

well just like that for today only...i know not so many at all.....well~why i should SS so many huh?!!
all my friend tell me my hair just like japanese artis...well i was thought that too cause i aiming my hair to just like japanese artis when my hair is long :D....i have view my picture many time but my hair does't look like japanese artis.......erm~maybe need see my real person....erm....i mean my hair..hahahahahax xD

you have forget the pain already
you have forget the past
you have forget those our memories already
you have forget all of our things
and yet....you have forget me already
in your every memories i does't exit in your world :)

you have forget me already,at your mind i just a illusion in your memories
without you....i feel nothing,unhappy but you without me is good choices
cause you won't remember that make you unhappy....look at yourself~
you not ugly....you are always the cute 1 when you smiles~
at this world,have many guys is waiting for you to be your furture husband
well me too but.....i don't feel that i need other girls....now....i just wan hide in
the darkness and crowed place....i need silent myself....i not rich anymore
i already lost you....you are my every things but now....i feel empty..i'm all alone now

In This Quiet Nigh

In this quiet night
I'm waiting for you
Forgetting the past
And dreaming of you

Time passes by
And memories fade
But time can't erase
The love that we've made

And the stars in the sky
That I wish upon
Can't bring you back to my side
Though you're not here with me
I dream of the day we'll meet again

Hold me close, so deep in your heart
I will find you
No matter where I have to go
And dream of me
For I will be there
Follow the stars
That lead into the quiet night <3


damn~!!i still can't find your blog link :(

i'm the person who very seriously in love

few of couples after break and they will hate their own ex girl friend/ex boyfriend because they been hurt or some of them wan to forget each other and so trying to find other target or might be they wan to take revenge so they started become play boy/girl......but some of them will keep their happy memories as a treasure....well i can that i'm that kind of person who serious in love,will do many foolish things for my beloved girl,sacrifice anythings for her,when she need me and i will be there and i will keep the things that we promise and i won't lie her.....i know what you thinking,you think that i just big talk only or think that a sweet talk etc....well i can tell you true that i'm not,i know i look like some kind of worthless boy,samseng and my attitude very lcly but i treats love very seriously....well you believe or not that your choice :)

time sure pass fast right??the time we start,the time we end....everything look so fast for me but day by day i feel so alone and unhappy,say the true....without you my life feel like kinda different no.....is completely different....without you my life less happiness,no caring,everyday moody,sad and no one love me....i have lost many things already...ya~i know what you wan to tell me....i still have friends and parent accompany me but those things to me is not enough,what i wan is i need you so badly i really really love you more then every moment.....all this days i feel so sad and hurt too...you have tell me before that time can cure anythings but....you wrong....you diffinitely wrong.....it make me worst then before.....just only you think time can cure anythings but for me is not....our relationship have been 5 months already,i know is so long but for me at this 5 months i have been face many hard things you just don't know only.......before at this 5 months we have make a lot of promise and you have keep this many promise and din't break it but there is wan promise you have keep breaking.....what did you break??well you have break the promise that we should not lie each other but still....you break it,i know you din't lie me every time but the time when you lie me....i have already know but i din't say it out cause i just don't wan you like last time feel so sad but the person should sad is me....i know it just a small lie but promise always be a promise,i have keep our promise as ever since we start couple but after we break i have broke 1 promise and that is smoke.....well this things not important for you already but....for me......promise always is a promise....at this 2 months we been less chat to each other already,cause you been find a guy accompany you already but for you me is what??well i don't know what you think....you still remember the time you telling me there is a boy who in love with you and try to chase you...at the time i fill so hatred and jealous....why??cause i don't think that guy is serious and suitable,at that time i really feel so angry and hurt my hands.....but my hand just bleeding only is pain at all but the most hurt is without you.....every single day i miss you more then yesterday but it less then tomorrow,my phone still got a lot of our picture and i always keep it...why??cause when the time i miss you,i will take out my phone and view your picture.....every time when you upload your picture at facebook....i will always click"like"i don't care the picture is ugly or what but for me you cuter then other girls and beuaty then other girls,as for me you are the 1 and only and for me those other girls are nothing....every day you out with friends,my heart feel so hurt cause i was too worry you....when you hang out with friends....you din't even think yourself own safety,you just care about enjoy and fun...i know is nothing wrong but....plz use your brain and think clearly why i so worry about you....cause you just girl,every things will might happen to you.....sometime when i boredom,i feel like wan to find you chat but...i don't have any dare to find you cause i scare i will annoy you....i know is fine to find you chat but i really scare that i will find you non stop and i don't wan you feel annoy so that why i less find you chat....did you know when you feel bad mood and unhappy and i was trying to make you feel better??i think you don't....every time i wan make you laugh and smiles it feel sop hard for me cause i just feel that i'm worthless and useless!!!you should know every things has changed is not same as before already....my mood have been so bad as every days...this 5 months memories i will keep it forever and ever cause this memories is important to me....those happy and sad things i will treasure it.....i don't wan to forget this...i wan this memories remind that my first love...this is all about my feelings and is 100% are true,well i'm a lcly person as think but actually i'm the person who very seriously in love :)



if you blame yourself will make me blame myself
if u din't blame.....i will not feel guilty
what u blame it will be the same result how i blame myself
so don't blame yourself :)


<3[I ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND STILL HOPING THAT YOU WILL COME BACK FOR ME]<3

oh no!!my cousin started play facebook already!!O_O

damn it!!why he play facebook??OMG~!!O_O.....don't know which person who tell him account name plus he got add my friend and ask one by one!!!!but never mind i privacy my facebook account,see how you add me hahahahahahax XD
but seriously time sure pass so fast and you have been change a lot but you style still the same as ever





well biao ger...you have change a lot then i though
but you still like to cute and haven't change it
you always act my mom style =___=




don't know why this fews days mood so damn bad :"(

SION is back!!

it has been so long that i less online facebook and other it because my stupid computer suddenly have virus but now....thank to my daddy but new 1 laptop for me hahahahx~!!!i don't know why he suddenly buy many new things and change many thing O_o.....maybe"fa shui"  hahax xD.....btw~i have find a work for spend my holidays but this work really "xin ku" and tired.....after buy new laptop every things need to install and setup......it took me many hours to finish it but.....i still not satisfied....cause your blog that i have save in computer has gone.....haiz~i don't know how you feel right now...hope you are happy now :))

just now saw you take a picture with the teddy bear that i buy for you
i glad that you like it hahaha x)

A.L.Y <3

Hopes ♥

well this is a old video that i record form last week ago,i very like this music....every time i play this music,it will make me feel calm but...also make me feel depress and sad,almost make me drop tears...haiz~

btw it take me 1 month or few week to learn this music...kinda feel like to play piano cause every time i play,it will play out my feelings :)






Hopes ♥


hopes that we still got chance :')

how should i not worry about you??

haiz....you say you can take care yourself and don't wan me worry you but all you did is make me very worry about you.....every time you out,i will worry that you might meet some kind of trouble but what can i do??i can't do anythings just worry....like today you with friends went pub and the guy keep near feel like wan"chiu  ni shui''.....but lucky you have male friends to help if not.....i don't know what will happen to you...do you know that kind of place you guys are not allow?!i know you just go inside and see,but you might be don't know what happen if you went inside....well you might be raped or somethings...that kind of place is dangerous!!is not a playground and don't random to go inside!!!i know what you thinking,you think that i worry you too much already and ya~i don't have the"zhi ke"to say you but.....you don't even know how many bad things come from pub plus you are a girl....you should know most dangerous is you girls,this world have may cruel things will happen to you girls



so...tell me how come i should not worry about you?? =((                          







                                                                                         don't know why all day so bad mood and depress
                                                                                          i kinda so miss you,i feel heart pain really pain ='(

is there something should not know and should not see??

today evening,when i was going to read your blog and suddenly saw you have private your it.....i was curios about it,i was thinking is there something that you write i should not know or you just scare that your write something will hurt me??well i don't know though,but never mind i think i get it your reason already....maybe there is many secret and something hide from me....but i really wan to know your feeling...haiz


[S]ion [I]s [O]nly [N]ameless
 i have found out my name meaning
when my grandmother haven't pass away
she name me this name,at the first time i don't like it
but now....i think this name suitable me...
grandma....did you name me that name just because i'm really useless,brainless,hopeless and worthless??
well i'm really like this name now and know why you name "SION"

SION IS A HOPELESS PERSON!!!!

i so damn fucking hate him!!!

hey!!!would you stop say those sweet words and stop to chase her!!!ARRGGGG!!!!you wait?!wait?!!wait how long?!!you wait makai lan?!!stop wasting time!!!you don't even know her attitude!!!how come you can chase her?!!even you know but i sure you will regrets together with her!!!i guarantee you will regrets it!!i already"xi guan"the way she treats me.....ya,she is cold that why i feel no confidence at the first time but i din't give up to love her!!!i always love the way how she was and i don't care how she treat me....i know she no longer belong to me,but let me ask you one thing...do really can stand her attitude?!!i guess not~well i still hoping that i can back together with her,so i was hoping and i will wait her until she have found a nice guy to love him....but~!!!!i more hope you will stop chasing her and stop find her again!!!!you are not the type for her!!!you just make it more worst only!!!i GUARANTEE one days,she will belong to me.....so......you plz fuck off bullshit!!!you just waste your mom rice and money to raise you up!!what a foolish guy!!!!


.......
last night,i know you can't stop find him
well i nothing to say anymore or control you
that is your freedom,your choice,not mine
i have no right to order you but.....
if the day really has come and you feel touch about what he say then
........
i just can regards you guys love each other happy and forever
you say impossible??
i still remember the time when my friend say about us will love each other
and you were say the same things "that is impossible....!"
but you should know nothing is impossible


haiz~!i still keep hoping it no matter what :')
[ILYNMWWH]

sorry i make you drop tears again/a unwell night

sorry i make you drop tears again :'(

i sorry that i make drop tears again,when i read your blog...i suddenly feel sad and non stop crying....i really so stupid that hurt you!!i so hate myself!!!am i a boy or rubbish huh??!!how can i make a girl cry?!!hate it!!after finish sms with you,i do know you will not blame yourself or not??but i think i should trust you,i hope tomorrow every things will be fine...i love you :')

a unwell night

haiz....at this night,i feel so depress,sad and not well....i can't even sleep,all i was do is thinking of you....do you know what i thinking??i thinking how long you will still love me??i think is not forever cause i know next year or some days you will forget me,i know you love me will not too long....i really so scare you will forget me although we din't together already but i still feel sad,i even don't know how to face that situation.....haiz~well still happy that you won't feel lonely already, although i really hate that guy keep find you but you won't feel lonely now...this is the good news for me,but you don't even know how lonely i am now....well you don't know....there is a girl keep find me but.....i don't have the mood find her back or reply her msg....i always holding phone the wish that you will text me....but never mind i should "xi guan" this feeling....i don't know what i should do at this night....sleep??but i don't have the to sleep....i just keep worry that you will forget me,my heart feel so pain now....haiz~i have hoping it so long but when my wish will come true or it never come true??haiz~but no matter how i still hoping it until you forget me :)

JEALOUS & HATRED!!!!

i  jealous and hatred now!!!shit!!!i hope that guy don't find you anymore or don't mind him!!ARRRGGGHHHH!!!i feel so angry now FUCK!!!!i keep hitting the wall but but it just make my hand bleeding =______=!!!!!ARRGHHH~!!!i can't stop it!!!fine!!!!i just act that he din't find you!!!but how act?!!!PUKIMAK!!!!@#$!$#@!@#$!@#$!$#@!$%#$%#$%#%^&^%&*^&*(%$%@#@@#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





DAMN IT!!!I KEEP HITTING THE WALL TO MAKE MYSELF CLAM
BUT.........MY HAND IS BLEEDING =====_________________________________________________=======

i disappoint you

can i stop blaming myself??well i can't answer it,but do you know why i blame myself??well you don't know,i not blame myself because of last time....ya,that not my fault and you either...i blame myself i not suitable for you,i blame myself i disappoint you....i know why before you don't believe my single words,cause think is a lie right??well i can't that you don't trust me cause you might think all the i still don't trust you......last night your sister(janice ng) post something on her wall,when i saw it....i just recognize that she was saying me,when i saw it....i feel myself worse and i know that is my fault all the time......because of this promise you think is a lie,ya...i know..."promises is worse than a lie cause you just don't believe it" this words already write out your meanings....."hope for something you can't get" when i saw this words,i feel myself is hopeless.....i was hoping that we can back together but i know is impossible for you to come back to me......i think she wan me to forget you,cause it just hurt me.....well i can say she is wrong,cause i know some days what i hoping for and i will get it....i won't give up hope,i don't care anythings i rather feel hurt but i don't wan forget!!!!not matter what happen i still love you,this is never change




[ILYFNMWWH] :')

did you listen me even once??

last time when we chat,you suddenly say you wan to die and that time is really my fault....stop blame yourself ok??is me scold you,you din't do anything wrong......please listen to me ok??i know you have tell me many time that you have reason to die,but let me tell you something...that is not a reason,your life,your parent,your sick and blame yourself that you din't treaser me....are this thing call reason huh??!!do you think you life suck?!you think you life worse then other people?!but do you think about me how i feel??every time you say die,i feel hurt you know??whatever i say or how i care you but you still do the same thing and don't listen me,well find....you can think my words is rubbish and think whatever you wan,what i wan from you is live happly and don't think about blaming.....i really hope you will listen although i not your boyfriend,if you still loving me then please stop blaming yourself anymore but if you din't love me.....well then i speechless now......



and 1 more thing S.I.C.D.I
this is not the meaning of "sure i can do it"
and sorry last night i lie you but you no need to curios about this words
cause this words is blaming myself only










why love each other can't together??
is there nothing that we can do it??
my hearts really feel so pain now

i don't think is the reason

hey,if there something you wan to ask me??plz just ask it,i wont refuse anything your question...it is about our relationship or you wan me forget you or stop loving you??i can answer you that i refuse to forget you and love you...why??you should know the answer....well ya,i still hoping now that we can back together but i won't ask you again and won't ask you how you feel about me,cause i know if i keep asking you i will just annoy you and scare can't be friend again....i don't think that your reason to reject back together again,i know there is something you still hiding....i don't wan you misunderstand that i say you find"alasan"to reject back together,that not what i mean....i was curios,why you still loving me but can't back together again??i know one reason only,the first reason is about your parent don't agree you couple but the second reason is not a reason,i hope you know what i means.....but plz remember if anythings you ask or wan me to do...i will accept anythings except to forget you and stop loving you......i sorry i can't do that




say what you need to say
plz don't hide it

i forget you?!!

how long we din't sms each other already??i think almost a month...i think~at this few day...or should i say every days huh?!!do you think i forget you already?!!don joke around,do you think love a person so deeply and forget that person so easy??!!don't stupid ok??!!you think i'm that kind of person forget people so easy??!!i don't think so!!ya...i know 5 month relationship not long for you but for me is very long,even almost a half years already...this 5 month feeling i still remember it until now,no need to mention it...i still feel hurt without you...i know you might think that i chat with other girl and forget you already,let me ask you 1 thing....forget a person that you most love is that easy??!!maybe you will,but i not so sure i don't even know how you feel about me now....as for me forget a person is impossible,i know you will say nothing is impossible...well you don't know how i feel about you too....don think that i always chat with other girl and forget about you,NO!!you don't even know i talk a lot about you to this girl....i tell her every story since we couple,every days i keep repeat to ask the same things...i ask do we really don't have chance anymore??when the girl tell me that i should forget about you,at that moment when i hear this....i feel so angry....do you know why?!!i can tell you right now,cause i'm not like as other guys won't satisfied just because break these things and go find a other girl to forget you!!


do you still love me??
if yes,why don't back together again??
plz don't tell me same answer anymore
cause that not a answer
you think back together will more hurt right??
i can tell you that is wrong,what make me will feel suffer??
just because you treat me cold??
well i get use to it already...
still what will make me more hurt if we back together??
or that is your alasan(malay)??
cause you already forget me??

just trust each other love

last nigh i with my brother yung yung(not my real brother) go kuala meggatar there yamcha,but there is something bad happen...is about my brother'sister,his sister was argue with his boyfriend and in front of us....suddenly her boyfriend say he wan break with her,the reason is because he can't stand her anger anymore....though they couple 1 year and 7 month....well,1 year and 7 month!!!is not a day only....is really a long relationship but her boyfriend can't stand anymore,my brother'sister try wan to back together but her boyfriend reject her....his sister cry already 8 hours and while in the 8 hours we try to an wei her but we failed...but at the end her boyfriend give her last chance again and he wan she promise that don't do the same mistake again....well what you know guys,love always have a good ending if you just trust each other :)



but is really true that love have good ending??
well for me is,love sometime will have a bad ending too


i should stop hoping again
i already know that we won't be together again
even though how much i love you and trust you so much
but as for you,you already giving up me and don't trust me anymore
i don't know what i should say
and i also don't know that i can give up or not
why??why i can't get love forever huh??

i think i know what reason already
because that i ugly
because that i useless
because that i feel so easy to hurt
because that i so annoying
because that i hopeless
or it because that i really don't have the chance to get a forever love

i hurt that i without you

well you no need say yourself is idiot,even idiot will know what is hurt....you don't know hurt that because i don't wan let you get hurt,i hurt is because that i without you but not you say or do anythings....when we together i din't feel any hurt or sad except happy and funny,how come will feel hurt??you should know that love a person even feel hurt,sad,happy and depress also will love each other....xin fu is not me or you can give,is each other give other same feeling and fu chu...yea,i don't know how you feel but i just know our feeling is the same....forget a person not easy even time is hard to cure a broken heart....





i know you feel pain now,same here
but did you know where did the pain come form??
ya,is me...is me did it,i sorry that i wan keep hoping
everything cost you is me,i sorry make you suffer in pain
i really useless!!but even i say sorry also useless
cause i can't cure your pain.....i apologize :'(

sorry i annoy you but don't worry,i wont annoy you again

i sorry this few days i annoy you,i just wan try to an wei you but i don't know that i annoy you more....actually i also feel myself really annoying,i think you won't need me anymore...ya,i really helpless i know i can't even help although you tell me what happen...i know you won't need my caring anymore,cause i just make you more unwell...maybe you wan forget me and become stranger then i apologize to you,next time i won't find you anymore then let become stranger lah....i really sorry that i annoy you


you say that you don't have any person will love you??
am i not a person??are you really forget that i still love you??
do you know i was to hoping that we can back together again??
but i think that i make it more worst
i really annoying,i really a idiot and useless too
stranger....ya,i think this is a good idea for you
well then,let us don't contact each other anymore




i'm sad now!!you don't know what is feeling about hurt!!!
i really so annoying!!!!!!i so damn hate myself!!!

don't think to die!!

i really don't like you say die this words,is really hurting me....i know you won't do anythings but before you promise that you wont think die these things....i don care promise always will be promise!!plz don't even think about it....i still loving you,i really don't  wan you die just because your parent and me...tell me what make you suffer in pain??plz tell me only,if you trying to die then i'm the 1 will go die 1st!!!ya...i common suicide!!!i don't care anythings,just don't wan you think to die....i really scare 1 day might be somethings will happen about you.....i really scare...i will beg god now!!!god i beg you,plz don't let her die easily and don't let her think about die....if really wan her die then...i will sacrifice myself,i sacrifice myself to end her pain....

are you really wan forget me??

i really love you,there is no zhi ke that i don't love you

and there no zhi ke these thing at love

won't you try to think get back together??

don't say that you will hurt me 

do you think i' not hurting now??

won't you think about it??

i hoping now that we can get back to love each other :'(

blog viewer

today i have go view many ppl blog,all of them write very sweet and very touch...their couple story really touching,they let me know they love each other very deeply and there is nothing can stop them...even their family....ya,i know what you thinking....you think that i blaming you....well i can tell you the true but you don't even believe me,i just wan tell you love a person really strong is unstoppable....let skip this,it has been so long that i din't view your blog already...since when??since we break i guess,when i view you newest updated...i know last night at my facebook profile comment is me say something wrong to you,and i apologize to you.....i din't mean that way,but you don't know what is jealous and hurt this feeling,you din't feel this kind of feeling before....why??cause there is a guy love you so much and try to protect you and don't let you get hurt....you know that you had hurt me but....you din't even know when or how you hurt me but this not important already,you say we might be stranger 1 day....



you know that i been hurt
so never mind,this is only a feeling
just forget it,hope you happy as always :)



damn i sick already =___=

he better then me,you should choose him

i saw you guys chatting happy and very funny,ya...i feel jealous,but what i can do??continue feel this feeling and ya,is hurt....so what??still need continue feel this feeling also....there is nothing i can do,just watch you guys chat....that guy remind me,remind me that i always jokes you....well no need remind this anymore cause it doesn't matter anymore except just for sad memories....1 day,you guys will fall in each other just like how we was begin....don't worry,i support you guys always will be xin fu and don't worry me,you have he beside you....i not in your mind anymore,i'm just your memories...you let me know something,that is"have 1st chance and 2nd chance but there is not 3rd chance anymore"....i have try to love you many time but...i failed to love you,maybe he is better then me.....no.....he is way perfect then me,i sure that time your parent will agree you guys couple.....



i love you but i can't get your heart
i not the guy in your mind
and not a guy suite to love you
there is a guy waiting you
bless you guys feel happy as always :)

PMR Day 3

well~today exam scien and sejarah....today,scien paper 1 was very easy but scien paper 2 was very hard =__=....i don't know how to write the answer but at least din't space a lot of question....i sure my scien will get C!!sejarah....well this no need to say anymore,i sure play counter strike with friends :P....there is no reason to pass the subject,cause our past things can't remember why still wan remember other people past things??=D


last night really thank you accompany me
i have a great chat last night
i think i need thank to you for cheer me up
tell you true,you always make me lucky as always
today exam is lucky only if not,i sure i pass up blank paper
you are my lucky star :)

feeling alone

do you know that i hate you so much?!!i know useless but no need say it out!!!I know it already but i try my best to study already and i also need time relax!!!i'm not a robot ok?!!don't force me plz....i can't take it anymore...i really feel depress



every time i sad,i wish you can pei ban me
but already not same as before anymore
i really feel so hurt,i really need you now
i feel so alone now,i can't stand it anymore
i miss you,i miss the past time...

PMR Day 2

well today english was so easy,i think i will get an A!!can't wait the result :D





你说爱上你会很痛苦
我说我不怕辛苦
你说爱上你是个错误
我说我自愿走入迷途

你装做不在乎
我知道其实你有说不出的酸楚
我愿意抱着你
不让你哭
爱你的旅途有艰辛万苦
我绝对不认输
我愿意保护你
不让你受苦
爱你的旅途有艰难险阻
我的目的就是你要幸福

PMR Day 1

today exam BM!!!OMG!!!so sibeh hard ah!!!haiz....i already try my best to write my karangan....i hope i can pass it >~<....well,tomorrow exam BI,is easy for me....like a water XD haha....but still need study,i determine to get A!!!

i finally know your reason,i happy that you still loving me....i really hope your parent agree us continue our relationship but i think they won't....last night i have think a great idea that won't let your parent know,if you delete my msg after you read,like that they won't find out and i rather couple with you but i won't ask you out anymore,like that they won't find out too but.....last night you tell me that you give up me already,when i saw this i feel really sad but i more sad that you at 5 month still don't believe me that i trust you so much....you still don't know my feeling but never mind i won't blame you,cause i still love you and always believe you although you don't trust me anymore :)

                               HURT!!!




please stop it,i don't like this feeling...it hurt :'(

jealous :(

every time i online facebook the 1st profile that i will view is you and every time i will have the same feeling...that is jealous,every time i saw have many guys comment on your post and very happy...it make me so jealous,but what i can do??just saw you comment only,i really hate this feeling!!every time i saw i will get hurt only!!why?!!why huh?!!you tell me that if we break we won't feel hurt again,but i don't think so...every second every minute and every day i really so miss you,i really wan saw your face again...but i can't!!but what i can do is just saw your pictures,i really feel so sad...i always keep thinking of you non stop!!i always feel so hurt,i don't like this feeling!!!this pain is killing me!!i hate it!!i can't stop tears after view your profile,i think should not online facebook again....because that make me feel unwell,jealous and sad...you don't know how hurt am i now :'(

you just feel interested to me is not real love me

PMR is really near by now and i just have 5 days time only but at this few week i din't study...even thought PMR is near by but i just feel too steady now...at this few days i have trying figure it out what reason that you will break with me,i know there must be have a other reason....i won't believe that you will suddenly feel yourself don't have confidence and so easy wan to forget me....my friend tell me that they know what reason you will break with me,they tell me that you have someone that you love already but not me...that why you will tell me to trying forget our 5 months memories...when they tell me this but i don't believe it,they keep telling me this is the true and i keep stop listening them....cause i know you wont treat me like that and i believe you that you have truly love me but....you might be just feel interested to me only but not a serious love me,maybe that why you feel don't have confidence...maybe you just feel interested on me and suddenly just feel tired on me....is this the your other reason or you have other that you love,truly love a person are wont feel like that even feel so hurt and xin ku but still will love each other...but this is just what i think only,i still feel curios about it...i really so wan to know what your other reason or i just think too much??well you the only 1 who know the reason....




i think i just a toy for you
i think you just feel interested on me
but...are you really din't love me before??
am i do something that make you feel hurt??
i still curios about it and feel unwell
cause i still loving you

there nothing left for me

remember i say lose 1 friend = lose 1 trouble?!well...i have,you know that i hate argue with other people and don't like someone act kind to me...if you still mad about me then you should not act friendly to me,i don't like it...better think each other is stranger...i know i already less friend...so what??i don't care either,it just make me feel relax...



but if  lose 1 love = lose 1 feeling
there is nothing left for me

my last DMC4 gameplay video

to my youtube friends and some of my fans :D

it has been so long i play DMC(devil may cry)series since when i 10 years old,but i think i should stop playing or you can say i am quieting....the below video is my last gameplay of dmc4,i hope my youtube friends will enjoy it...this game give me so many memories but i sorry i think i can't play it anymore,why??cause i need prepare my PMR,although after PMR i still won't play it again....there something make me curios about it and feel unwell.

p.s:for dazzy,

i sorry mate,i think i must cancel your DMC4 project video...but i must thank you too,cause you the 1 share my video to other youtube friends and me make popular(bangga :P)...well not so popular though,but still thank you...you are the best mate that i 1st meet,you always kind to me..,i sorry i don't have dare to tell you directly but i hope you can use my some part of my gameplay to continue your video project...but i think my DMC life end here and then i will become"the legend of DMC pro player"haha :D

damn!!!youtube =___=

stupid youtube!!!!i don know what did you do to my video...it make more suck!!!the music is lagging and why my video have an error msg for other viewer?!shit!!!you have waste my 3 week times again!!!i hope you fixe this problem quickly!!!damn it!!!FUCK

there were many things that you don't know

why love always will get bad endings??what do you guys think about love??are you guys thinking love just a GAME??well ya~some sort of them,so skip about this question...what about you??do you think after we break,every thing will be fine??i think not...do you know i still thinking the reason you break with me??when you say you don't have confidence to continue our relationship,i was thinking that not your only reason...there must be other reason that i don't know...i was thinking izit my fault??izit i do some thing that make you feel hurt??izit there something you wan but i can't give you??i really very curios now...do you know how i sad am i when you not around??even though we less together...do you know how much i miss you??even though we same school and bus but....i don't have dare to see your face.....do you know i wan text you so badly??not because i bored is because i miss you...but i don't have dare to find you...i scare i just annoy you...do you know  i still loving you??well ya~of cause you know....but i just don know you still love me or not??but i think i still day dreaming...how come you will break with me when you still love me...when i online facebook,do you know who profile i gonna view 1st??ya...is you...even though i feel sad and jealous but i still like to view your profile...but do you know when i out with my parent,what place i will thinking 1st??i'm thinking when we 1st out together...every time i go the place that we together go before...i still remember what place we have go before,warisan,center point and the cinema....do you remember what movie we watch before??is"being human"....i still remember the situation when we sit together....do you know i still keeping the cinema ticket??why would i keeping the ticket??cause i wan remember that time we out together,this is the 1st time i out with you although is bored but i feel happy....but there were many things that you still don't know,as me there were many things that i still don't know about you




how many love can together again??
what do you think about love??
just a game for you??
do you know i still hoping we can together again??
probably you don't know

my last mission

my last mission finally complete...i finally give you the present,i feel kinda happy but and also i feel kinda unwell....cause i suddenly think about our relation again...when you accept the present i hope you din't open and see the letter,i know is not what kind of privacy but i still hope you din't see it....cause i don't wan you feel fan nao again....when you accept the present,i don't care how you do to that teddy bear,you wan cut off it head or throw it away or you can think the teddy bear is me and use knife cut and slash me.....i don't mind how you do to that teddy bear,i just happy i complete my final mission...and 1 more thing....i know i can't stay forever wit you but please let that teddy bear always be with you :)






i don't wan forget our relationship at this 5 month
but i will keep this memories forever 
i will alway keep my 1st love memories 
keep those happy memories ever and forever <3

i can't stand this family anymore

hey dad and mom,do you know that i already can't stand again you guys anymore??i wan ask you guys something....did you though me is your son or you guys just though me is a dog??mom,you keep call me do those house work when kakak off day...do you know that i can't do all those house work and i just need you help me a littler only...but do you know what you say to me??"son~!don so lazy la just a littler hose work only like that you can't do it??if like that then,i don wan a useless son that can't do anything"...do you know that you say this words make me so angry?!but i din't mind it...do you remember my scar behind my body??i know you still remember it...i still remember what reason you beat me so badly...just because my exam result below 65% or 60% only,then you so mad at me and beat me so hard...when someone saw my scar and ask me why...i just say i at school fight with friend...do you know why i lie them??cause i don wan them think my mom is a crazy ass hole dog....when every time i think this,it make me angry...make so wan kill you...and dad,i really thank you save my life when i still a baby and need operation...i know because of me so the operation cost you a lot money but why you do that for??you already have 3 daughter and plus my litter brother...your 3 daughter is great as you though,they cute,they nice and they very smart....unlike me...i am useless,stupid and just get you guys in trouble...when you always scold me say me useless and say many rude things to me...but i din't get angry or blame you either...cause i already admit myself...but if you din't cost your money to save my life....i sure you will happy to lose 1 son,cause the son will never let disappoint anymore....i sorry that i can't do the best son in your life...i would be happy if you let me die at this world....cause like that you wont feel disappoint anymore and i wont make my most lovely person suffer in pain too....i have always think myself don have zhi ke live at this family and also though not suit for this home but don worry,cause i sure i will leave this home someday and i know you guys wont mind me either....i think this is the great idea don't you think??

i hate forcing ppl

ycc...i know how you feel,you can reject me but never mind i wont blame you anything...today is your birthday,let just though brother give sister present....but i know you still feel unwell so can't accept your present,that why you force yourself to accept it and i really hate that did you know??i don scare that i get hurt or what,but can you don force yourself??i just scare you will blame yourself again only...that is your bad habits...but i don care anymore after you accept it or not,better let just be friend only....cause i already know you din think i am your brother anymore

forget her!!plzz

tomorrow is her birthday,i determine to ask can we back again??but i already think clearly...if you love her then better let her go and let her happy...yup!!i should not think about her anymore!!i determine to forget about her...cause i know even we back together we also cant last long our relationship....i agree what janice ng say,i really so selfish what i do before....sion forget about her,she not the person that you love anymore...ya~!but i need time,why time cant go faster or let me drink wang qin shui lol~!!hahax...cheer myself up :D

did we still have chance??

haizzzz....ngam ngam chat with my mei....i was trying to an wei her but i think she still unhappy...before she sleep i was trying to ask her can we back together again but....i think she wont accept me cause maybe she really don have any feel about me anymore...i was so scare to ask her but i think is not the right time to ask her or i should say i don have chance to chase her back again...i really so sad that her parent keep scold her...but i don think i can help her except just an wei her only...i really so wan to make her happy and try to hug her to let her feel better...but i was totally forgot that i don have chance to do that...i still loving her and still care about her maybe she don know but if that time she haven't sleep...if i can ask her.....






can we back together again??
can we start over again??
would she answer me "yes" or "no"
for me i think is "no"
should i forget her or not??
but i just know i still love her.....haizz :(

中秋节

中秋节,i don like this festival...why??cause is about my grand pa...he past away at 中秋节really unlucky festival...mooncake??taste suck...why god let him past away at 中秋节??god can you tell me??but you know what??i hate you...take away ppl life as you like...christmas day...my grandma past away too...why you so cruel??then why don let me die at PMR??god bless ppl huh??don make me laugh...you make me cant forget my sad memories 

feel alone

already start go school,i still feel the same...i thought i will feel normal if i with my friend but...i just feel nothing except acting happy...but i wont feel alone if i at school cause i have some of my friend play with me :) but....when i at home...every thing so silent except my brother at there noisy....but every thing is quite like no one at home....my phone no like before so noisy...everything have change...i feel so alone....i feel more bored then before...i feel myself not normal anymore...so alone so depress....i have lack my happiness and myself...i think i still cant put her down....but i should forget her i must forget it....i need someone wash my brain...but is impossible!!!how come to forget 5 month feeling?!tell me how?!i think i should 5 years time to forget it or maybe find a girl again huh??but i don have that feel wan find other girl....i really feel so alone now....i so so so miss her now...i really hope that she have more confidence...i really feel so unwell now and feel sad...god?!damn god!!you make me feel hopeless!!

holidays

tomorrow need start school already,at this 2 week holiday have many kind of things happen...i feel alone at this holiday...PMR is near by now,and i din study at home....i just wasting my time to thinking her...i am such a useless person...i have already waste 2 week time just thinking about her!!!now i just feel i don have any confidence to study or do any things....i feel nothing!!i feel empty!!at this few day i less back home cause my mood not very good...but i though my parent will worry about me but....i wrong...they din even know i was gone at this days...no body will care about me...i think my life just have a "lonely" this worlds....stupid me i though i will be happy....guess i wrong again.....

why??

ya....day by day time past time and i still feel depress...why??i don know...i cant concentrate to study....i feel so lonely and out of mood...i though i feeling fine but those happy feeling has gone and the other feeling it come back again....why like that??who know~i even not myself...what you can do now??study??no that mood....play some game??no that mood...watch tv??no that mood...out with friend??no that mood....smoke??i still promise her...why do that even though already over??promise always is a promise....then what you should do??i just feel like sitting in front computer only...online facebook chat with friend??no....just online and view her profile...why??cause cant put it down...then why still view her??i don know...view her profile wont make you sad??maybe...THEN WHY STILL VIEW HER PROFILE EVEN THOUGH IT MAKE YOU SAD?!!cause i xi guan already...then why don try to forget her??i cant....why cant?!cause i still loving her....why still love her??.............(cat answer it)loving her for what??make myself a littler happiness...are you really happy if like that??don ask....then how bout your PMR??i give up...why give up??no confidence...then what can make you feel happy again??nothing except act happy....act until forever??maybe....then i can say you are stupid to loving her....ya..i admit it....i am a stupid person...not just stupid and you are useless!!ya..i know....even my parent say that too :)

mei,plz don feel depress anymore

to mei:
sorry last night make you more depress and more moody,mei last night what i say is hope you don make yourself like that...i know you still cant forgive yourself that you hurt me...but should see open a littler,maybe break with me is good cause you wont have fan nau anymore and you feel freedom cause i can never told you what you cant do anymore...at this few days i know you feel bored and don have dare find me....i know you scare me i wont forget our memories....but i need some time to forget although i don wan....i feeling moody sad unhappy and depress all the time....but what i can do?just accept it and try to create new life...mei plz continue your happy life just like before....i don wan see you always depress...i think maybe because of me make you feel moody or depress,then i should stop find you at this few days....mei hope you can smile again....再苦都要记得微笑 :)

分手的那一天

如果我们真的分手，
你会怎样？
如果我们分手了，
我一定会感到很寂寞无助，
耍性子闹脾气的时候会感到闷得慌，
电话短信都不知道该发给谁。

如果我们分手了，
我一定会恨自己的自以为是，
原本总以为，
不管我们交错多少次，
总可以再找到时间地点，
重新牵起彼此的手，
可却只是自己的一厢情愿罢了。

如果我们分手了，
在一起那些痛苦的记忆会无限缩小甚至蒸发，
而幸福的回忆却只会日益膨胀，
到最后甚至忘记为什么分手，
仅仅只是想你，
想你，
想你。

如果我们分手了，
就算删掉你的手机号码，
我一定还是能倒背如流，
在夜深人静的时候红着眼眶，
慢慢按下那些键，
却始终找不到理由拨出去，
即使你淡出我的生命，
却仍然占据我的记忆。

如果我们分手了，
我会把你送给我的东西，
写给我的文字，
统统藏起来，
然后在夜深人静的时候不断拿出又放好，
想看又不敢再碰触。

如果我们分手了，
我一定还是不会删掉那些照片，
摘掉那根红绳，
因为曾经的每一次争吵都让它们来来去去，
可是这一次如果我删了，
我delete了，
它们就不再回来了。

如果我们分手了，
我不想再看见你，
因为我害怕那时的你在我的眼前，
我还是想牵牵你，
抱抱你，
亲亲你，
但是我已经没有资格了。

如果我们分手了，
我还是想你和你做朋友，
这样在我想你的时候，
我可以想着还能找你，
虽然我也许并不会这么做。

如果我们分手了，
我一定会害怕出门，
因为无论到哪里，
都有我们的回忆，
背着我牵着我到处乱逛的你，
看着我流泪会陪我一起伤心的你，
陪着我发疯陪着我快乐的你，
几乎把所有的零花钱都花在我身上的你，
因为给我准备了惊喜而自己开心半天的你，
在凛冽的寒风又或者飘泊的雨中还是会等我的你，
因为我乱玩，乱吃东西，胡作非为而大发雷霆的你，
每一次都被我搞的崩溃却依旧每一次都原谅我包容我来找我的你。

遍地留下了自己的痕迹，
最后却跑掉的你。
如果，

如果，
如果我们真的分手，
我一定不想的。

请记得，
如果我们分手了，
我还是等你的电话，
回你的短信，
在你需要我或是想见我的时候出现，
你是我的独家记忆，



一直在心底。

"kiss the rain(伤害）"this video really write out all my feeling and all 100% is correct....why love cant become wonderful or i make some mistake??haiz~it is god punish me because i do something wrong??if i did...then what i do wrong??wrong to not  treat good of her??god plz....i really suffer enough already...god i beg you plz....fang gou wo ba...i don wan suffer like this anymore :'(

confidence

haiz~at this few days really so bored i hope i can find her but i think she don wan to see my face or text me anymore.....it still hard to forget her but no matter what i wont ruin my life just because that....still got 1 week need PMR...at this week i need study hard although i don have any mood....but if i have confidence,i wont scare anything....i need give myself confidence to past my PMR!!! XD
















to mei:
i hope you feeling fine now and i hope you don easy to give up yourself...you still have many ways need to go as long you have confidence nothing can stop you....god bless you =]

i not feel alone anymore and i feel happy already X)

tonight happen a bad things...is because me that make her no confidence and depress but....i don know why i suddenly wont feel alone anymore...i feel that even i don have her but i still very happy...what happen so suddenly??and i feel that i wont sad or depress....i feel that something make me change but is a good things cause i wont think about her anymore...cause i have many people love me :D

xi guan

after we break and i accept it...but i feel really kinda bu shi de ni.i don just cant accept it out relation so easy to stop at here...at this 5 month feeling did you really din feel it??last time i though if i fu chu ni hui ai wo gen shen  but i wrong now i know wo fu chu de gen duo,wo ai ni jiu gen shen...maybe the reason you feel nothing...it is because you din fu chu that why you treat me no confidence....but i don know it real or not....but i just know i already xi guan have you love me care me...you wan me find other girl??i don think i have that feeling to find....i already xi guan together with you....i already xi guan those day we together even we just text each other but i really hope that you will give us one more chance and i hope you will really truely love me....god please give her a littler confidence and nai xin...hope we can back together again :'(

break

ycc...i think i know what you 决定  already,you 决定  wan break with me right??i know you scare you will hurt me again,but if you have a littler nai xin then you would not scare to hurt me again.i think you still feel yourself don have confidence that to love me,i hope that give yourself a littler confidence but it useless for me to say like that...is you need to give yourself confidence and nai xin no one can control you....but i don force yourself to do that either,maybe break is good for me too although i still love you but i don wan you suffer like that anymore...i wont care that we will break or not but what i care is your happiness...if you happy then i will happy too as long you wont suffer in pain...i hope our relation can forever but is impossible....at this 5 month i really happy together with you but now our relation already stop at here and will become history....hey~i after we break...i hope you will think me is your k gor again just like before and hope i still got chance to sms you...

my last words

thank you at this 5 month love me and take care of me,i really happy and i wanna say my last last words " I LOVE YOU HONEY " :'(

don think anymore i will accept it no matter what reason

plz make yourself calm,you don need to think anymore.i don know what you think now but if you are trying to find a reason to break with me....then just say it out,i will accept it no matter what.i don wan you feel pain anymore,i already know that you don have that feel to love me anymore so no need to scare that i will get hurt...you think much it will just make you head more pain and i don wan you suffer like that..plz don think anymore,plz don hurt yourself again,i will accept it. =(

最后一次...

honey....erm.....i don know how long i can call you honey anymore but i wan to say is.....is really sad that i suddenly view your blog and i saw something that i should not saw it but.....i already know that how you feel to me....i trust you this few day that you love me and i know the reason why you will dui wo mei xing xin....actually i know this will happen cause i think you are the girl must someone beside you,need someone accompany you and you must saw his face every single days,i very sorry that i din accompany you every single time.when i say that i am a best bf for you actually i din think that i am the best,i just though myself is useless.the reason i do many thing for you is i just wan you feel gan dong and make you love me more but what i do is just make you feel nothing.and 1 thing....do you know why i always ask you out?the answer  is very easy...i just don wan you forget my feeling every single moment...haiz~i don know when i can see "babee sion" this words again maybe this is the last time that u call me babee sion and also the last time i call you honey...i will remember those memories that we text to each other,is really fun although it cant last long...stupiak honey stupiak babee~haha...but i think this my last memories :'(